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Raising Boys & Girls

Raising Boys & Girls

Episode 414: Growing Competence In Capable Kids with David and Sissy

Sep 29, 2026 · 30m

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About this episode

Kicking off a new stretch of their Capable series, Sissy Goff and David Thomas explore the strength of competence, distinguishing it from confidence: confidence says "I think I can," competence says "I've done hard things before," and it's built by practicing through real, manageable struggles rather than being rescued from them. They introduce "the capable pause" — asking whether a situation is truly unsafe or just uncomfortable before stepping in illustrated by David's story of coaching his daughter Lily through a recurring conflict with a classmate instead of solving it for her. The episode closes with a challenge to notice one moment this week where you're tempted to intervene, pause,…