Fixing vs. Feeling: How to Get on the Same Team with Elizabeth Ferreira

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About this episode

Forrest and somatic therapist Elizabeth Ferreira explore a common source of relationship conflict: the mismatch between “fixing” (moving quickly into problem-solving) and “feeling” (wanting attunement and empathy before solutions). They talk about where these patterns come from, how each functions as a psychological defense, and the role of gender socialization, identity, and adaptation. The conversation also touches on trauma, nervous-system activation, and why building safety usually comes before real change. Key Topics: 0:00: Intro 3:40: “Fixing” vs. “feeling,” and why both can be protective strategies. 6:03: Socialization and learned coping styles. 9:12: Why conflict happens 14:28:…